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Two and a Half Men Give Me Your Thumb (HD, TV-14) Alan suggests that Chelsea should get breast reduction surgery, and Charlie responds by kicking him out of the house; Evelyn allows Alan to move in with her.
Two and a Half Men Untainted by Filth (HD, TV-14) After Charlie and Chelsea set their wedding date, he and Alan go out, only to awaken perplexed as the two of them are in the same bed with a strange woman.
Family Guy Holy Crap! (TV-14) Peter seeks divine inspiration, when his retired father comes to visit and makes life troublesome; Chris suffers a gastrointestinal impasse.
Family Guy Tiegs for Two (HD, TV-14) Peter loses it when his favorite shirt is lost; Brian and Quagmire wind up fighting after they pursue one another's old flames romantically.
Walker, Texas Ranger live-girls.now (TV-PG) Trivette launches an investigation after his girlfriend mysteriously disappears before risqué photos of her show up around the Internet.
Alvarez Kelly (TV-PG, NR, **) While transporting a herd of cattle to the Union forces, a cattle driver is kidnapped by a Confederate officer who wants him to take the herd south.
Roseanne Promises, Promises (TV-PG) Darlene agrees to go to the prom with David after she strikes a deal with Roseanne; Darlene has a surprise for her boyfriend after the prom.
Roseanne Glengarry, Glen Rosey (TV-PG) The Conners are happy when it looks like the house Dan invests in is going to pay off; Roseanne and Dan fear a financial crisis when their buyer backs out.
Roseanne Tooth or Consequences (TV-14) Dan finds that he needs a steadier job after he knocks one of Roseanne's teeth out by accident; David is rejected from art school while Darlene is accepted.
Roseanne Daughters and Other Strangers (TV-PG) Roseanne is concerned that Darlene will leave to go to school in Chicago and decides to watch her every move; Roseanne looks through Darlene's room.
Night Court Pick a Number (TV-14) A simple man chooses Harry to decide which fortunate person will receive his lottery winnings, causing the courtroom to go wild as each asks to be chosen.
Night Court The Computer Kid (TV-14) A pint-sized computer whiz barricades himself in Harry's office and threatens to erase all his school's records, forcing Harry and the others to intervene.
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